What were they ink-ing???

During the NBA's offseason 2010, Dallas Mavericks weirdo and shooting guard, Deshawn Stevenson had a party at his house and invited the team over as well as his personal tattoo artist for players interested in some ink. Mavs reserve guard, Jason Terry, had THIS done:

It's the Larry O'Brien, AKA, "NBA Championship" Trophy.  That's actually a cool lookin' tat but, I wouldn't have it done BEFORE actually winning one for the organization. He's actually said that he'll have it removed if the Mavs don't win the title this year. That got me to thinking. I'd like to extend that challenge to a few other athletes who've made poor body art decision over the years.

First, Deshawn Stevenson himself. He won the Lil Half Dead Award from me when I saw THIS:

That would be Abraham Lincoln between two fancy-font fives. Get it? Abe's image is on the $5 bill! His explanation? Lincoln freed the slaves! Totally logical! According to Mr.. Stevenson, it was actually a toss-up between Lincoln or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Had he gotten MLK's face, I'd have been the first person trying to assassinate DeShawn's neck for that. If the Mavs don't win, that tattoo must go and to take things further, I want slavery re-instituted for Mr. Stevenson alone.

Kobe Bryant - You probably didn't expect me to get on this next guy...but you probably don't know me as well as you think.

This tattoo was done after he confessed to cheating on his wife whom he met at a video shoot. I STILL wanna know who's video it was and why Kobe was lookin' for high school chicks there. The art itself, is supposed to be a crown, his wife's name where her head should be, and some angel wings. Either that or something else totally different than what I just said. Whatever the case, the shit's goofy looking. It looks like Cockroach's sister did it after she pierced Theo Huxtable's ear. The Lakers were swept by the aforementioned Mavericks. I want that mess removed. 

LeBron James:

His nickname is King James. It's really just too easy to ask the "King of WHAT?" question. He's been in the NBA since 2002 and has but ONE championship title on his mantle. The St. Vincent-St. Mary Irish high school team won the title his senior year. He was given the keys to the league on draft day and in big bold font across his back, he's labeled himself, CHOSEN*1. As tattoos go, he shoulda CHOSEN a different *1. After all those missed shots vs. the Celtics in '10, it shoulda read MAKE*1. When I saw the look on his face as it was clear the Celtics were gonna eliminate his Cavs, days after we got wind of the Delonte West story, I'd have called him SHOOK*1. After the one hour special to announce his team of choice, the tat should have been altered to say FROZEN*1 because it was unprofessional and COOOOLD to handle things the way he did.  If the Heat don't win the championship this year, I propose any of the 3 alterations above.  Besides, there's only ONE Chosen One.

Chandler Jarrell -